Feeling lost/unsure

As you can see from the title (I can even choose a title) I’m a little indecisive and lately I’ve really been feeling the heat (not just from the scorching sun) from life’s ticking clock and all its pressures.

I am currently in-between my second and third year of uni and I haven’t managed to get a job for the summer. I’m living off the dregs of my student loan so can’t do much apart from surf the old tinternet for hours on end. All I see is people doing well, enjoying their work and making great quality stuff and being super talented. I don’t know about you but I look into my future and I just don’t know what is out there. I sometimes feel like I’m just going to crumple into a ball and turn to dust because I can’t see myself doing anything. Ever have those days where you just lose all confidence in yourself well I just can’t seem to shake it off! All I keep thinking is if I can’t even get a little summer job how am I supposed to get through actual life; I want to be in the film and tv biz but if I can’t ever get a job how will I ever be able to get my own camera to make anything! It feels like a circle I’m never going t get out of. I just don’t know which way to turn. An then, I don’t know if anyone else does this but I think about how much other people are suffering all over the world and then that make you feel like a terrible person too. (might do another post on this sort of subject, there are some really great stuff I’ve been watching lately that give you new perspectives on situations and just general life that you might not have before)But how are people ever supposed to get things done when the human mind can get you in such a tizz?

Just AHHHHHHHHHHH.

Anyway, this is all a load of dribble I needed to just get out. I’m just going to have to push past all this rubbish, I suppose writing this, even if no one sees it, is a good start. If not, I’ll go and leave a comment on one of my favourite Youtubers videos, that always gets the blood pumping a bit, wondering if they will see it, or even crazier, reply! Woo!

Well I hope if you read this you have a good day, and if you relate let me know so we can feel weird together :D

See you!
X

P.S. thanks to the very flippin cool Sprinkle of Glitter for the inspiration and sharing your thoughts and feelings, it lets us know we’re not loonies!

P.S.S. The beautiful picture is by Vanessa Paxton it’s called Leave Me at the Alter an its wicked, I hope she doesn’t mind me using it, it represents how I’m feeling pretty well and I’m very jealous I didn’t make it.